Look, I know some of us are upset that we're losing our right to a safe and legal abortion, but it's just because America loves children so much. We're enacting a lot of new legislation to protect babies and children. There's going to be free healthcare for all pregnant women and everyone under the age of 18, regardless of income or immigration status. There's going to be universal free lunch. Supplemental nutrition assistance program (SNAP/"food stamps") disbursements are going WAY up. Car seats will be offered free of charge to all new parents, as well as cribs with organic mattresses and snug-fitting sheets to prevent SIDS deaths.
Maternity leave will be six months in every state, 100% paid, to facilitate the care and breastfeeding of our nation's beloved babies. And in case breastfeeding doesn't work out, formula is going to be affordable and, I think, in most cases FREE to any family that needs it.
I mean, the U.S. is really looking at the health of its children. We're going to see laws changing about vehicles and firearms (responsible for 20% and 15%, respectively, of the deaths of young children). We're going to see laws changing about pollution and health screenings and food additives in order to reduce pediatric cancer (responsible for 9% of the deaths of young children).
Day care is going to be subsidized by the government and have increase oversight to make sure that all our young children are safe.
And don't worry about reproductive health. After the new Contraception Bill is passed, all birth control medications and devices will be available free of charge and without prescription to every man, woman, and child in the United States.
America is turning over a new leaf.
Overturning Roe v Wade is just the tip of a beautiful, beautiful iceberg.
Look, I know some of us are upset that we're losing our right to a safe and legal abortion, but it's just because America loves children so much. We're enacting a lot of new legislation to protect babies and children. There's going to be free healthcare for all pregnant women and everyone under the age of 18, regardless of income or immigration status. There's going to be universal free lunch. Supplemental nutrition assistance program (SNAP/"food stamps") disbursements are going WAY up. Car seats will be offered free of charge to all new parents, as well as cribs with organic mattresses and snug-fitting sheets to prevent SIDS deaths.
Maternity leave will be six months in every state, 100% paid, to facilitate the care and breastfeeding of our nation's beloved babies. And in case breastfeeding doesn't work out, formula is going to be affordable and, I think, in most cases FREE to any family that needs it.
I mean, the U.S. is really looking at the health of its children. We're going to see laws changing about vehicles and firearms (responsible for 20% and 15%, respectively, of the deaths of young children). We're going to see laws changing about pollution and health screenings and food additives in order to reduce pediatric cancer (responsible for 9% of the deaths of young children).
Day care is going to be subsidized by the government and have increase oversight to make sure that all our young children are safe.
And don't worry about reproductive health. After the new Contraception Bill is passed, all birth control medications and devices will be available free of charge and without prescription to every man, woman, and child in the United States.
America is turning over a new leaf.
Overturning Roe v Wade is just the tip of a beautiful, beautiful iceberg.
I'm sure it is.
I mean, I didn't just make this stuff up, did I?