What Day Is It?
I would definitely fail that test they give you in the hospital to see if you’re alert and oriented, because I have no idea what day it is most of the time.
That sounds bad, but let me explain: my whole life is in my calendar, and my calendar is in my computer and, I assume, the cloud, which is really just somebody else’s computer(s). My calendar tells me where I need to be and when, so I show up there at that time. You could probably schedule me for a Very Important Meeting at 3 a.m. if you felt like it, and I’d be there, wondering why it was so dark out. I’m perimenopausal, so it’s not like I’m sleeping anyway.
I’ve been thinking about this because my mom has been spending a lot of time in hospitals and doctor’s offices lately, and one of the things they ask you is what day it is. This is supposed to help the medical staff tell if you’re alert and oriented.
Mom has taken to cutting people off before they can get there by saying, “Just to let you know, I’m retired. So I have no idea what day it is, ever. It’s not a sign of anything other than the fact that I don’t care.”
Sometimes they follow up by asking her who the president is. I wait for this now. You need entertainment while you’re waiting with loved ones who are receiving medical treatment, and you’ll take anything you can get.
“I don’t want to talk about THAT asshole either,” she says.
Then I assure the providers that this means she’s definitely with the program, and we all move on. If we have time, I explain to them that my mom generally has a better grasp on the details of being a person in the world than I do. If she doesn’t know something like the date, it’s because she’s decided it’s not important.
Meanwhile, someone just told me that July is almost over, which is clearly wrong, because summer just started. In any case, my mom has a point: it doesn’t really matter what day it is as long as you’re where you need to be at any given point.
Maybe she’s becoming enlightened. I’ll let you know where to buy tickets for her eventual speaking tour.
Your Mom sounds like a true gem! It doesn't matter what day it is, it's how you spend it, and with whom, that is most important.