The Spring Crud, Minor Depression, and Throwing the News in the Sea
Greetings, sufferers. It sounds like a TB ward in my house right now. This is because a) Princess Beast and I have the spring crud, and b) I’m allergic to Maryland. Seriously, it is beautiful here, but apparently I can only take so much bucolic wonder before I have an asthma attack.
Also, I am a leetle depressed. I realized this while I was taking my regular survey from my physical therapist's office. I got to the question that said something along the lines of, “In the past week, how often have you felt depressed/anxious/stressed/or sad?” And I was like, “UH OH.”
This is not unusual for me, especially when the seasons change. I realize most people get bummed out when the days get shorter and colder, but for me, either direction will do it. In the fall, I’m like, “Ugh, it’s cold and I just want to hibernate and I have to do stuff” and in the spring, I’m like, “Ugh, it’s warm and sunny out and I’m being oppressed by the expectation of going outside and I have to do stuff.”
The good thing about getting older is that I’ve been through this enough that I know it’s not forever. I’ll feel like this for a few days, and then I won’t. It may even be a sign that I need to slow down a bit.
This is the depressive’s biggest challenge, I think: trying to determine whether the messages we’re getting from our bodies are legitimate calls to take it easy or depression lying to us about how much sleep we need. (It’s not 12 hours a day, depression, no matter what you might prefer.)
Also, I don’t know if you know this, but the world is melting down right in front of us. I find it kind of disconcerting.
Many of my friends are dealing with this by not reading the news, but I’m aware that this is what the evildoers want. They’d love it if we all became numb to the horrors. Way easier to commit horrors when everyone is numb.
That said, I’m letting myself disconnect for most of the day, as much as it’s possible to do that while working on online content. There’s just no good reason for me to check the news 10 times a day.
Anyway, if you’re in a similar loop, here are my tips for getting through bullshit times with a perpetual background murmur of mental health issues:
Take breaks. No seriously. Take them.
Plan stuff you like. Princess Beast and I are getting mani-pedis for my Mother’s Day gift. I love spa shit and I’d rather go to the dump with PB than Tuscany with just about anyone else (besides her dad, with whom I would also go to many boring places and enjoy every minute of it).
Feed yourself healthy stuff, but otherwise don’t worry about diets. I’m on a quest to get enough iron and protein. It’s surprisingly difficult, and I regret to say that I feel better since I’ve started.
Go to bed at a reasonable hour. Before I had a kid, I used to go nocturnal when I was feeling blue. This makes everything worse. It’s like being hungover all the time, even if you’re not.
Get some sunshine (or use one of those sun lamp thingies if it’s cloudy). I keep my SAD light going all year round because I work indoors and I need sunshine every day, or else. The real stuff is best, but if you can’t get it, it’s OK to have store-bought.
Anyway, that’s all the news from my corner of the world. I hope you’re enjoying the spring weather and doing as well as can be expected, etc.