How to Parent in an Apocalypse
On the day I wrote this newsletter, Trump called out the National Guard in D.C. because he’s in the Epstein files. Also, AI is burning down the planet and my career simultaneously, people are very rude at the supermarket these days, and accessing healthcare is like trying to get a flu shot at the DMV (and is only going to get worse).
Also, as well, and in addition, it is August. If you don’t have kids, you probably don’t know why all your parent friends look extra frazzled right now, so I’ll explain: school needs to start yesterday.
These children are feral. They are on screens 25 hours a day. They live on sugar and McDonald’s. You can say that this is our fault — just the result of our parenting failures, nothing more — but what I want to know is, have you ever read “Lord of the Flies”? This is bigger than us and our choices, friends. This is societal collapse and it’s happening in our family rooms. We can’t be held responsible for what happens next, although we will warn you that it involves a pig head on a stick.
It doesn’t help that everyone I know is living in a state of shock right now. Parenting under these conditions is improbable, if not impossible. Honestly, if you have kids and you know where they are and you’ve fed them a vegetable or fruit in recent memory, I think you’re doing a fantastic job.
Personally, I have developed a scrolling problem. This happened to me during the first administration, too, but it’s worse now. The first time around, it was psychological warfare in the form of mean tweets. Don’t get me wrong, Trump did plenty of horrible things — family separation springs immediately to mind. But most of what he did only affected me because I care about other people. I probably could have chosen to ignore him if I wanted to, without direct repercussions.
Now, it’s personal. The economy is pretty clearly falling apart. Clients are cutting back on work. ICE is picking up day laborers at our local park and ride. Groceries are expensive and getting worse, and that’s before we start dealing with the long-term effects of deporting everyone who picks our food.
I feel like I’m strapped to the train tracks, along with everyone else in the world, and I’m watching the engine chugging my way. To mix metaphors, it’s just increasingly clear that we’re not getting out of this without going all the way to the bottom. If there’s good on the other side, it’s a long way away. There’s a lot of pain standing between us and better times.
For now, we’re just trying to get by. I try to remember that some days, that’s all you can do.
Actual Advice on How to Parent in an Apocalypse
(LOL, this post is like those recipes that start with a story about great-grandma skiing the Alps before getting to the apple butter recipe. Anyway, here’s the good stuff.)
Good enough is good enough.
If all else fails, turn off all your phones and internet pads (as Ron Swanson would say) and do something together. If you hate participating in imaginative play, like I do, do a craft or play a board game or go outside and draw with chalk.
Find one small thing to do that will help someone.
Cancel one subscription today. We’re probably not achieving FIRE this week, but the more financial room you can carve out, the better off you’ll be.
Talk to a friend. Community is everything, especially right now. Stay connected with yours.