This is a weird time to be Going Through It. Whether you’re dealing with family stuff, career issues, or health problems, it’s hard to balance the specific bullshit with the general shitstorm that surrounds us.
A couple of years ago, it was popular to dismiss your own troubles by calling them “first-world problems.” I was never a fan. My feeling is that as long as you understand that your problems aren’t the only problems in the world, you’re allowed to be upset about them.
But now, whenever something goes wrong, I think, “Can I really complain about that?” I mean, we’re in the middle of an authoritarian takeover instigated by a leader who really seems like he’s starring in a Weekend at Bernie’s situation. Am I still allowed to be upset that my dishwasher broke last week or that I’m struggling with perimenopausal insomnia? I JUST DON’T KNOW.
I mean, OK, I do know. Yes, I’m allowed to be upset about that stuff, and so are you. We’re all allowed to feel our burdens, even if they aren’t catastrophic on a global scale.
The more I think about it, the more I realize that my concern is that the little things will somehow distract me from the big disasters. That when historians ask what we were doing during the rise of the Orange Reich, I’ll have to say, “Well, you see, I was feeling kind of irritable for hormonal reasons, so I had to take a nap.” I just haven’t been sleeping, you see. Nearly impossible to focus on the fall of Rome under these conditions.
The truth, of course, is that I can’t stop focusing on the fall, and that’s part of my problem. It’s like when you have a headache, and anything else that happens is going to be the last straw. The current situation in the U.S. is the headache, if that wasn’t clear.
But see, again: is it a headache, really? Is that the best I can do? Children are being separated from their parents, and immigrants and people of color are being locked up without due process, and maybe we’re going to have a famine because it turns out, it’s a bad idea to arrest everyone who picks the food. That’s more than a migraine, even.
My usual perspective feels too small to accommodate the current scale of the horrors.
And yes, some of this is that I’ve led a fairly privileged life and never thought I’d have to deal with autocracy in my own backyard. But also, how do you prepare for something like what’s happening right now? I feel like you can’t.
For now, I’m trying to find the balance. Pay attention to what’s happening, help when I can (even if it’s just on a very local level), and give myself grace. I hope you’re hanging in there, too.
(And also, I hope you remember that your “small” problems are still real and valid. I, for one, am on your side.)